Being weird...

:) This made me chuckle.

We have a bunch of young people living next door. They wanted to bake cookies today and we let them use our oven. They brought the cookie patties to bake and then gave my kids a few cookies to taste as well.

When I was about to leave to give them the last batch, Sanju stopped me.

'Saji, tell them that the babies liked the chocolate cookies and ask them for the recipe'

That I did and when I came back, I got to know the full story.

'That's a nice thing to do. You should always ask for the recipe. You wouldn't know, molu (That's a Malayalam term for daughter. Cultural). That's why I told you'

I couldn't stop laughing because I thought that I had improved over the years in that aspect, a tad too much for my liking. Clearly, it wasn't enough. Sanju was being the ultimate Malayalee, well mannered and appreciative with acquiantances. I am terrible with small talk even after my 'improvement'. It took me quite a long time to get sarcasm and even now there are times I miss it. I could be rustic if I have to clear assumptions. Not very lady like. That's self-serving. I understand that too.

 I am not a rude person but I am more comfortable discussing topics of interest. I tend to be quite open about my personal stories too making people mistake me for an extrovert. They would later understand when I don't pick up their calls or message back but then again I would be friendly with them in group conversations. Logically, that must make me feel guilty because I consider myself empathetic but it doesn't. The contradictions!  I am too generous with compliments that jump out to me like someone dressing well or losing weight. I have done that to strangers too. But, not the kind of things that I don't notice. Not curious enough. I understood what Sanju did. He wanted them to feel good about giving the kids some cookies. I 'know'  and I studied psychology with interest but it doesn't show up on personal conversations. If I need a favour, I know that the right thing to do is asking about their well being and then some more chit chat before diving into it but it would be torturous for me if I do that. It's hard enough if I need to ask anyone for a favour. So, I would go 'Hi, I called because I need a favour'. My head would hurt till I rip the band-aid off. If I can't match or give more, it frustrates me to no end. I don't want to change either. I am happy that the kids have both influences. It's nice to care enough to make the other person comfortable and feel appreciated while making a conversation. That's my reason too. I respect enough not to use words that I don't mean. The most I could do is use the best version of the truths available. Even that makes me feel like an imposter at times. The drawback I see with the other approach is, with all the etiquettes, it's easy to take the inner circle for granted. But, they would win over the world while my kind would confuse the outer circle. My saving grace is since there is no energy leak, there is no question of taking anyone for granted. Choices!